"I have a theory too. My theory is about moments. Moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are." - The Vow
This summer has been a moment-filled summer for me. I went to New York for five weeks and had my life changed. I met so many people who have helped me look at life through a new lens. I met children who impacted me in ways that they don't even know. I heard sermons that were directly for me and I felt God's presence each and every day. I had moments where I felt like I wasn't good enough, moments where I felt such a tugging on my spirit to help others, moments where I was at my happiest and moments where I was drained, but all of those moments brought me to where I am now. I'm stronger, wiser, and more of who I am meant to be.
It wasn't until tragedy struck that I actually realized the importance of these moments. One of my good friends from school passed away suddenly just a few days ago. Part of me is still numb to it all. Part of me doesn't want to accept that this could be true; that someone who could make me laugh in an instant is gone. I don't want to accept that my friends are hurting so much and I don't want to accept the fact that I can't do anything to help them. The strange part about it is that part of me is also at peace. Part of me understands that God's will is ALWAYS better than our own and that he obviously had better plans for her than we could ever imagine. It's not easy to walk around and put on a smile for the world to think that I'm ok, but deep down I know that God will give my friends and I strength to get through this year and carry on her legacy. All of her hilarious jokes, her crazy dance moves, her infectious laugh and bubbly personality will live through each and every one of us. It is our job, now, to carry on her legacy. It is our job to show the world just how amazing she was through OUR lives.
Now, it goes back to moments. We take so many moments for granted. We hesitate to say how we feel to people and fail to show people how important they are to us because we feel like we have an unlimited about of moments. We feel like our world will never stop but in reality, it will. We don't know what tomorrow will bring and it's so important to take advantage of the moments we have now. I've learned to tell everyone how much I love and appreciate them, I've learned to spend time with those that I care about and to never say goodbye but to, instead, say "see you later." These moments in our lives, these moments of impact, will always happen. Whether they are good or bad, these moments will always be part of the growing process that we all, as individuals, go through. I'm learning to embrace each moment and to never let go. I'm learning to not regret anything but to look at it as a learning lesson. I'm learning that the energy I give out is the same energy I will get back. Most important, I'm learning that love makes everything worth while. Loving God, loving those around me and loving myself, those are the things that will get me through.