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| Strength: noun [strengkth]: the ability to withstand or exert great force, stress or pressure. |
A routine physical recently turned into one of the scariest moments of my life. I had routine blood work done and a few days after my physical I received a phone call from my doctor letting me know that I had a high count of white blood cells. Naturally, I started freaking out. I was going on the internet and looking at all these different websites trying to learn what this meant. All signs lead to one thing: cancer. I started to think of my aunts who had survived cancer and stories that I had heard through friends and I didn't know how to handle it. I called my mom to tell her the news and I could hear in her voice that she was worried. Of course, she was trying to be strong for me but I knew that deep down she was just as scared as I was. I had to go back in a few days for more blood tests to determine whether or not my life was going to change drastically and for once in my life, I felt like I had no strength whatsoever. I was questioning where my faith was at a time like this. I needed it more than anything.
Throughout the days where I was waiting for the results of my blood tests, I realized a lot about my life. I realized that many times I focus on things that I have no control over and it doesn't help me in any way, shape or form. My over-analyzing was becoming something that was weighing me down and I needed to change that. I needed to enjoy the life that I had because literally, I didn't know what was to come next. As a society, we spend so much time worrying and focusing on things that have no actual importance in our lives. We worry about what we look like or what possessions we own or the boy that doesn't give us the time of day when there is so much more to life than all of those things. I began to see the need for time with my family and friends, time for myself and just learning to really enjoy life.
On Friday, May 31, I received a phone call from my doctor. I knew it was her because of the area code and my heart dropped. When I answered, there was a sense of peace in her voice that, in turn, gave me peace as well. She told me that my blood tests came back normal. "I was worried, myself, when it took so long for us to get your results, but thank goodness everything is okay. You can stop worrying now." I can't even describe the emotions that I felt after hearing those words. I wanted to scream, cry, dance, praise and so much more at that very moment. I thanked her and looked to my mom and best friend in the car and said "EVERYTHING IS NORMAL! NO CANCER!"
At that moment, I felt, not only relieved, but I realized that the entire time when I couldn't' find my faith..it was with me all along. The "strength" that I thought I had, to not show emotion to the world about how scared I was, or to act like I wasn't worrying was in reality faith in God that everything would turn out okay. My "strength" came from the faith that I had in my God because I KNEW that whatever was to happen was going to be necessary to my life or to the lives of those around me. I knew that if these results were to come back positive, my life would impact someone and maybe, they would come to know the God that brought me through this beautiful storm.
The moral of the story isn't to feel sorry for me or to sympathize with me, but to take advantage of the moments we have throughout our lives. Never take anything for granted. Enjoy life to the fullest because ANYTHING could happen to change your world in an instant. Tell everyone you love them and truly appreciate the time that you spend with people because those are precious moments that cannot be replaced. Life is too short to be anything but happy, and as much as life may suck sometimes and as much as the enemy may throw different obstacles down your path, in the end everything will turn out exactly how it should be. Like the photo says: you've been given this life because you were strong enough to live it; just remember where that strength comes from.