So, today was a pretty good day. I went to church this morning and it was powerful, as it usually is. I got to see my boyfriend and best friends which made it so much better, because I love them so much. Then, I went to lunch with my family, which I love, because family time is so important to me. Whenever i'm with my family I have the best time, so clearly this made my day. Then, I went to work from 4-9. Most people know that when it comes to Target I have a love-hate relationship because, depending on who i'm working with, I either love my shift or hate it, which explains the relationship. But anyways, today's shift was great and I had so much fun, so it made my entire day pretty solid. But then, I turn my phone on after work and see that I have 16 unread messages...Usually anyone would be ecstatic to receive this many messages but I randomly wasn't. Literally, each message was someone talking about their problems or situations or questions that they needed answered. Most of them I don't usually talk to, which made it worse. Don't get me wrong, I love helping people and being there for them, it's one of my favorite things to do. I love knowing that people trust me and come to me for advice because I feel like they see me as someone trustworthy, which anyone would love, obviously. But for some reason reading all those messages made me so sad. I'm the type of person that holds a lot inside, which makes it hard for me to open up to people but usually when something is wrong with someone I can tell automatically and not only that but I hurt for people. So when someone is hurting or going through a situation I put myself in their position and at times hurt for them. There have been times where someone is going through a hard time and I cry for them just because I can imagine how hard it must be. People say that it's a good quality to have but to me it seems so overwhelming at times. I'm always there to help people and give them advice and listen to them, but I feel like no one ever asks me how i'm doing or gives me advice. Maybe it's a selfish thing to say, but it's how I feel sometimes. I mean, obviously its up to me to talk to people about things, but sometimes its good for people to ask you how you're doing, you know? Like, sometimes I just wish someone would be like "anyways jess, enough about me, how are YOU?" but it hardly happens. Don't get me wrong, there are those few people who ask me how i'm doing all the time but sometimes I feel like the ones who come to me for help the most are the ones who least ever try to help me. This is in general, btw, I don't want anyone to think i'm talking about them specifically because i'm not. This post is about how i've felt for a loooong time. But anyways, another thing that bothers me is when people only text me to ask me about school or something. Like, really? Why couldn't you just look at the syllabus or online? Literally like 6 people text me everyday asking me about homework...is it necessary? no. I always answer them, obviously, but sometimes it gets so annoying. I don't understand why they always ask me out of all people. People think I have everything all together but sometimes I really don't. I'm a good student but that doesn't mean I have all the answers. Seriously.
anyways, this blog post will probably cause drama or whatever but like the title says, it's just a vent session. i don't mean to offend anyone or talk about anyone..these are just my thoughts.