I think i'd rather have someone be mad at me than tell me that they're dissapointed in me. Have you ever had someone say that to you? It hurts, doesn't it? When I hear the word "dissapointed" i automatically think of losing faith in someone or just being hurt by them in one way or the other. In life, i think, people will always dissapoint you one way or the other. Whether they change, replace you, hurt you, betray you and lie to you - it's inevitable. I guess it takes a certain amount of trust that you allow others to have from you. I hate even telling people that i'm dissapointed in them, because it seriously cuts deep. Example: Lets say i was to do something stupid and come home and have my mom find out what i did, if she was to say "Jessy, i'm not mad i'm just so dissapointed." I honestly think i would have a melt down. I would feel like I not only let
her down, but
everyone else and myself. I don't even know why this is such a hurtful word, its simple. I guess because being let down is part of life, when it happens you shouldn't really be affected by it, yet it seems to always hurt you, even if it's just a little bit. Another example: I had a friend who I was extremely close with, we hung out all the time, talked everyday and told eachother everything, THEN some things happened and they made a huge mistake. A mistake that would be with them for the rest of their lives, and not only that, but they lied to me about it and tried to hide it. I came to find out months after the actual mistake occured. When i confronted them about it, I wasn't mad, sad, or hurt I was seriously dissapointed. When I told them that, i'll never forget it, they said "i'd rather you hate me then say those words." Seriously? Hate over dissapointment? That's pretty serious. Hate is one of those words that's thrown around like nothing, but it's strong. I guess what i'm trying to say is that in life, we're going to get dissapointed and we're going to dissapoint people regardless of how hard we try not to. What i'm trying to figure out is how to make it not hurt so much whether you're dissapointing someone or being dissapointed? I guess it'll go unanswered for now.
